Five & Five: The Beards

EMURG has a very special artist for our Five & Five series. In celebration of, “No Shave November”, this month we are featuring an Australian band called, “The Beards”. Since 2005, The Beards have been delivering their brand of folk rock music that conveys a simple message: beards. But what are The Beards really about? In an exclusive interview with band member Nathaniel Beard, I learned that beards are not just a fashion statement, but a way of life. PART I KC: What artist/bands/songs/albums influenced you the most? TB: We’ve been influenced by all sorts of musicians-all of who are bearded. These include: Cat Stevens, ZZ Top, Bob Marley, Reggie Watts, Brett from Flight of the Concords, and Seasick Steve. We’ve also been influenced by many historical figures who wore beards but were not known for being musicians. These include Abraham Lincoln, Fidel Castro, Santa Claus, Gandalf the Grey, and Gandalf the White. KC: What are you currently listening to right now? TB: I’m actually listening to The Beards. I only ever listen to music that relates directly to beards, so there aren’t many other options. It would be great if some other band would write some beard anthems so that I could listen to something different for a change. KC: What has been your favorite show/performance so far in your career as a band? TB: Probably the opening ceremony of the World Beard & Moustache Championships in Anchorage, Alaska. We played there in 2009 and whilst it wasn’t the most massive show of our career, it had the best ratio of bearded people to non-bearded people, and that’s how we judge a show. KC: What made you decide to become musicians? TB: It was our beards! Before we were bearded, none of us even knew how to play music, but as  soon as we grew beards we all suddenly became accomplished musicians and songwriters. Having a beard is awesome! KC: If you want people to remember one song from your band it would be? TB: It would have to be“No Beard, No Good”, because of all our songs, that’s the one that best encapsulates our message. httpv:// PART II KC: The Beards have an impressive catalog of music mainly concerning the topic of beards. How do you constantly come up with new material concerning the same recurring subject? Is it difficult to write songs that only pertain to beards? TB: It’s not difficult at all, in fact, I don’t think I would be able to write a song that isn’t about beards. I don’t know because I’ve never tried, and I never will. I hate music that’s not beard-related. I just don’t see the point of it. Bearded people are superior to beardless people in every conceivable way: We’re better looking, we’re stronger, we’re faster, and we’re better at writing songs about beards. So I guess that’s the real secret: Having a beard. KC: Why beards? Why not write songs about sideburns, long hair, or even moustaches? TB: Because none of those things are important. We don’t care about long hair or sideburns-and we actively hate moustaches. The thing is that we have literally no interest in anything that isn’t directly related to beards, an nor should anybody else. We just want to live in a world where everyone has a huge beard. KC: The Beards seem to have quite the following in Australia, but will the band dominate the U.S. with their message about beards? TB: So far we’ve concentrated mainly on Australia. Bearded Australians are constantly pressured to shave by their employers, their families, and a shaving industry that’s worth over $13 billion. As Australians, we were ashamed of our homeland’s attitude towards beards and we have to do something about it. After years of touring, we’re happy to say that Australia’s attitude towards beards is gradually improving. This means that we are able to concentrate our efforts elsewhere, and we’ve heard that America is in dire need of a great many beards. I don’t know if we’ll dominate the U.S., but one thing is for certain: We will not rest until every single American male has a beard on his face. KC: What is the one piece of advice you can give to fans who are trying to grow a beard? TB: Simple: Do not shave. Ever. If you can follow this advice, you WILL grow a beard. That’s one of the great things about beards-all you have to do to grow one is to do nothing. KC: What can fans expect from the band in 2013? TB: We will continue to spread our propaganda throughout the world in the form of catchy, catchy songs. People in North America should this: We are coming over there in 2013. We’ve heard North America is home to some of the world’s best beards, but we’ve also heard that the majority of Americans dislike beards and shave regularly and unquestioningly. Those Americans can expect to have their attitudes changed-by force if necessary. Indeed, The Beards are a band that believe in their message of beards for all, and actively create music to bring attention to the subject matter. In their quest for beardly domination, their music is stirring a lot of attention in the music world, so put down your razor and pick up The Beards music because the Beard Revolution has finally arrived!